Dear readers,
I'm kindof in a funk, in a I'm-disorganized-and-don't-know-how-to-fix-it / I'm-not-sure-how-to-establish-a-routine kind of funk. My last year and a half has consisted mostly of dealing with crisis mode. My days have consisted of doctors appointments, surgeon appointments, therapists, tests, surgeries, hospital stays, playing nurse, and an endless number of specialized feedings. (In the early days of my crisis mode I spent approximately 9 hours per day in feedings; fortunately, that number has gradually decreased to approximately 4-5 hours a day - - not including food prep time -- heaven forbid I should actually make dinner!) Can I add in the hours I spent making payment arrangements with dozens of health-care professionals and figuring out insurance? More recently, things have been less dramatic but still time consuming. Five days of therapy per week plus lots and lots of feedings. Training Crew how to use his mouth. Coming up with incentives to motivate Mia to walk on "flat feet" as opposed to her tip toes so we can discontinue her therapy. For the last year and a half, my house has suffered. I won't tell you how infrequently I mop and vacuum my floors, let alone scrub my shower. I don't regularly make meals. I feel like I'm in a mostly constant state of disorganization. In my defense, I will say that not once have I forgotten or missed a doctor, therapist or other type of appointment. Not once have I let the bank account go into overdraft. Not too many times have I handled Crew's health care incorrectly. But crisis mode has been my state of mind.
Blessedly, we are leaving crisis mode behind. Crew has been discharged from all but one of his therapies. Mia is about to be discharged from her physical therapy. There are no surgeries on the horizon. Crew has learned to eat in six weeks time and we haven't done a g-button feeding in nearly 2 weeks. The medical bills have been paid. Doctor visits have become routine. And I am lost.
I don't know how normal mothers schedule their time. I'm so unused to having any extra time that I don't know how much to devote to Mia begging me to "play games" ALL DAY LONG. I don't know how much time to give to cleaning my house or making dinner or scrapbooking family memories or practicing the piano or reading a book or anything else for that matter. All I know is crisis mode.
SO.....I'm thinking a schedule is the solution? I'm looking for any and all readers out there to post their suggestions. How do you schedule your time? How do you schedule your kids' time? When do you do your cleaning/cooking? How much time do you give to your kids? Is your schedule set or flexible?
Looking forward to normalcy,
Nat
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6 comments:
Oh Sweet Nat. It's been such a roller coaster ride for you! ((Hugs))!! I'm glad you're on your way back to normalcy!
This is what works best for me:
1)Try to write out a list of what I want to get done each week.
2)Proioritize what things NEED-TO HAVE-TO-ABSOLUTELY-GET DONE.
3)Work on them as much as I can, but KNOW that "life" inevitably happens. Things come up, and plans change.
4)Try again each day to re-evaluate, re-prioritize, and re-start.
5)Also, 5 minute clean ups and 5 minute play breaks are great! I can do a quick pick-up and wipe down in 5 to 10 minutes in any room and make the place look a lot better. It may not be a SCRUB down, but it works until I can actually GET to the deep clean. And the 5 minute play break may not seem like a lot to you, but to the kids 5 minutes here and there is all it takes sometimes to satisfy them.
I'm not the perfect wife or homemaker that I always planned on being... (I was pretty much gonna outshine June Cleaver), but I'm learning over and over again to just take each day and work with it.
I absolutely believe that schedules are awesome and great, and I love to be organized, but it doesn't always happen with young children, especially with children who require the medical attention that ours have required. =)
Hang in there, try to find what works best for you, and know that YOU'RE LOVED!! =)
Nat it's funny that you post this cause I look up to you and admire how you keep things in check even with the medical demands. I can't tell you how much i think about you and how you do it because sometimes I feel like I'm in a whirlwind and don't know how to stop, breath, and go on. But I do know that I need to keep what schedual I have ie...monday is laundry day only! kiddo's nap after lunch, don't clean up the play room till the end of the day or I'll go crazy, don't go to bed with a dirty kitchen, ...etc...etc... small things like that keep me sane most day's. You'll figure it out. Remember how things/scheduals change so much when you have a new baby?...well I know that's about to happen soon but I know that I will figure it out. And you will figure it out. Thanks for being an inspiration to me Nat! Love you!!!
Well, I'm certainly no example on good parenting, but I do love to give my opinion!
A lot of my time each day is actually spent doing very selfish things (the gym, a two-hour nap), but I feel that if I didn't do those things, I wouldn't survive through the rest of the day and would be the "mommy from hell," to put it nicely.
But generally, mornings are "kid time": play games, read stories, play with toys, puzzles, etc. Then lunch. Then Gabe to school and girls/mommy down for a nap. After school/naps is time for the kids to play on their own -- outside, with toys, coloring, with each other -- while I make dinner and straighten the house. After dinner they can watch a movie and then it's time for bed. And somehow, we've survived another day.
And yet, though we still have some form of schedule, I feel like we operate in "crisis mode" quite a bit. Either I'M in crisis with my depression and bi-polar episodes, or the kids are in crisis and I am racing from one overflowing sink, to one pee-puddle on the floor, to one bleeding nose, to referee in the match-to-the-death between the 2- and 4-year-old, to saving my 1-year-old from choking on the hotdog I wasn't supposed to give her.
Don't get me wrong. I am so grateful my crises are not the medical kind you have experienced with your kids. But I just think that "crisis mode" in whatever form it takes, is the way mothers live!
Okay- It just occurred to me that I have something that may help a little bit. I am emailing it to you. It is something I made for my friend who was struggling with some other issues- but you may find it useful. Whatever you figure out you are a great mom and I am sure things will start to feel "normal" soon. Love you!
So good to talk the other day. Hoping it helped. I was taking another peak at the advice others gave. Lots of good stuff there...for ALL of us. Anxious to hear what you have tried and how it is going. Missing you and thinking of you!! Lots of love.
I just try to take a few minutes each day to do something with each child that they want to do. When I lay down at night I feel good knowing that I made each child feel special even if I did not do the dishes or mop the floor.
Motherhood is difficult, hard and challenging BUT if you raise children that KNOW how special they are to you and to Heavenly Father, then you have done well.
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