I Have Never Doubted...

Pumpkin Patch and Halloween

A few weeks ago, Mia, Crew and I went to the Flower Mound pumpkin patch with our friends, the Alcalas. In addition to pumpkins, they have a hay ride (which we didn't actually get to ride), blow up jumping houses and slides (pictured below - Mia LOVES playing on these), cute photo opportunities, etc. Mia was SO excited for the pumpkin patch. I had shown her a picture online of what we were getting into and she was really excited to sit on a pumpkin. I'm not sure where that idea came from, but she had to sit ON a pumpkin.

This grimace is an intended smile. Her sweet, natural smile is replaced by this every time a camera is pulled out. :)

Mia returning after running through the pumpkins. It was like something from a movie, pictured in slow motion. She had such a good time.

Mia came back to this tractor over and over again. She loved getting to drive it.
This is Mia with her friend Sydney. Sydney stars in all of Mia's prayers and Mia talks about Sydney all day long.

This bouncy house was empty except for our group so I let Crew join the fun. He didn't move from this position (I think he was a little unsure) but he was happy to be there.

Mia loves Winnie the Pooh....which is why I chose her Halloween costume below.

October 30th was our ward's Trunk or Treat. After we'd gone around to all of the cars, my favorite moment was watching Mia settle herself into a camping chair in front of our trunk, push off her Pooh head to the side, put her sack of candy on her lap and start digging in. She opened the packages all by herself and ate candy as fast as she could. She must have known the moment wouldn't last forever. (I have now stolen her candy and it is being used as a potty-training reward. She is now very motivated. We haven't had an accident in days.)

Mia is (obviously) Winnie the Pooh, Crew is a monkey and I'm an angel. Shawn was a devil (while wearing his "Satan is Stupid" shirt). I tried so hard to paint Crew's nose but we only succeeded in smearing it everywhere repeatedly so I gave up on that idea.

Provident Living By Shawn

I am ready to play a more active roll in posting on the blog. Tonight I journey into the blog world.

My next post will be about the three date rule.

Provident living- Living joyfully within your means.

Well that is not easy some times. However, ever since I learned what the heck it means I have enjoyed living within my means much more.

For example, Weeks ago, I might have said to my wife, "Dang it, I want that new Nissan skyline, I want it and I should be able to have it."

Now I say," Dang it, I Really love my Chrysler PT Cruiser. Chrysler's are only warming up when they hit 100,000 miles. Man what a cool car I have. I love having something in common with females over 65. Man what a great car!"

Another example for those struggling to see the benefit of provident living. Real Oreo's or fake ones? Fake Oreo's are $1 cheaper and after a few years you actually forget how good the mint flavored real Oreo's taste.

In a moment of weakness I bought the real Oreo's the other day because I, for a moment said, "To heck with Provident living!" What a sinful attitude I had, my wife saw what I had done and before she could rescue me from my sinful state, I ate. Years of forgetting the real flavor of mint Oreo's came back to me and now I must return to living within my means, joyfully, and eat the fake ones. It will be hard to find joy in the fake ones for another year.

One more for the road: Keeping the house at 78 degrees or 76 degrees? Hard to find joy in 78 degrees. I found it through long hard meditation.

In all actuallity, I like reminding myself that one can live very happily living within ones means, no matter the means. I learned that in Mexico many years ago on my mission and don't have to try hard to remind myself now. Its nice to remind myself that a used Dodge Caravan is a sweet, sweet ride, when it has air conditioning.

Happy Belated Birthday to Crew

Crew is now one year old. It has been a busy and adventurous year. We counted the other day: he has spent 28 days in the hospital during his first year (not including outpatient visits or doctor appointments). He had four surgeries. He now has a working palate in his mouth. He is able to breathe easily and safely. He still eats using a g-button but he is thriving and growing and is off the charts for height. He has been through a lot. Not only have his medical milestones been important, but so have the "normal" ones. This year he learned to roll over, sit up and crawl. He says "mama" and other unidentifiable jabbering. He can give kisses and likes to bonk you on the forehead with his own. Sometimes he gets confused as to which game involves kissing and which one involves bonking. He can stand for about 7 seconds unsupported. He smiles and laughs. He loves to cuddle. He plays with Mia. He gets mad at the dog when she gets in his face. He is a joy.

Isn't he handsome? We love you, Crew.

Mia's Prayers

"Heavenly Father, thank you for [this] day, elephants, hippos, zebras, lions, puppies, giraffes . . . [mumbles into indistinguishable and I jump in to help]"

Tonight's variation: "Heavenly Father, thank you for pigs, hippos, pigs, hippos, pigs, hippos, family, hippos, [this] day, zebras ..."

Pictures

I know these pictures aren't super clear. These were taken on a phone since I dropped our camera and broke it. . .

Crew Update

[Photo: view of the cleft immediately prior to surgery (you might have to make the photo larger to get a clear view).]

[Photo: me and Crew pre-surgery (with some serious red-eye!)]

[Photo: Crew playing in his crib at the hospital the day after surgery.]

Thank you everyone for your prayers and love and support! Crew is doing great!! The first couple of days were a little rough. He was kept an extra day in the hospital because he couldn't breathe the first night (most likely due to the swelling). He came home wanting just to be cuddled with his pacifier (I couldn't believe he'd want that in his mouth after what they did to him, but apparently he did) and blanket. After a few days of around-the-clock cuddling and pain-killer administration, he is doing great. You can still see stitches but everything is healing nicely. He's mostly his normal, happy self.

Eight weeks post-surgery he'll have a swallowing study done (where they x-ray him while he swallows barium to make sure it goes into his stomach and not his lungs) and his surgeon will also make sure there are no holes left in the cleft. If all goes well, we'll be able to start teaching him to eat! If there are holes, they will be fixed in an out-patient based surgery. After that, the doctors won't need to see him until he's about 2 1/2 and then they'll start evaluating his speech. Sometimes after a cleft palate reconstruction the palate (soft part in the back of your mouth) doesn't move quite as flexibly as it should allowing for proper speech. If he has problems, we'll do speech therapy and sometimes it requires surgery to fix. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Fasting for Crew's Surgery

As many of you are aware, Crew's surgery is this week on Wednesday. We will be fasting tomorrow (Sunday the 2nd) - praying that he'll only need one surgery and that all will go well - and we'd like to invite any of our dear readers, who are interested, to join us.

This is the surgery that we've been waiting for since his birth. At this time, they'll cut his tongue loose from his lip and they will fix his cleft palate. Surgery will be at approximately 7:00 a.m. If all goes well, it will probably be around a 36 hour stay.

In 95% of cases, only one surgery is required. We are hopeful that we will fall into that category. And, again, if all goes well, we'll be able to start introducing foods by mouth once he has healed. We are excited to move forward in the process.

Mia Dancing

A caveat: Shawn does not usually dance around shirtless for the camera. He didn't know I was going to start filming. He DOES frequently dance around in a silly manner with Mia which I think only adds to his awesome fatherly qualities. I have a feeling he'd like me to mention that he has lost 15 pounds since this was filmed (though I think he looks great!) (By the way, sorry about the sideways angle for a minute.)

"Jesus Got You"

Recently Mia has started saying "Mia safe ... Daddy got you". Which, to translate, is her copying Shawn as he has comforted her when scared by saying "you're safe, Daddy's got you." It's really very sweet and she says it usually when being tucked into bed or other moments where she's scared.

A few days ago on Monday, Mia's binkie (pacifier) got "broken" (we won't tell her for a number of years that I'm the one who broke it, using a pair of scizzors to cut off the part you suck on) so we had to throw it away. Mia LOVES her binkie. So for her first nap time without it, she cried herself to sleep. That night for Family Home Evening, Shawn gave a short lesson about moments in life when we're sad and how if we pray, Jesus will make us happy or bring us comfort. We each shared a sad moment and then talked about Mia's binkie being broken and how that was a sad thing. I won't go on and on about our little lesson or the cute little prayers that followed, but suffice it to say, Mia's new phrase is "Jesus got you." She hasn't cried for her binkie since.

Since Monday she mentions her binkie several times a day. She says "binkie broken" [pause] "sad" [pause] "Jesus got you." And now bedtime, or scary times include: "Mia safe"... "daddy got you"... "Jesus got you". She is so sweet. It melts and breaks my heart to watch her grow up. Not only that but her little phrase serves to remind me as I go through my day and my patience wanes or trials arise, "Jesus got you." And there is comfort.

Mia's binkie farwell and throwing it in the trash.

Playing Outside

Crossing Over to the "Dark Side"

Well, in a moment of desperation, I crossed over to the dark side. Okay, maybe "dark side" is slightly dramatic, but it is something I swore I never would do and I just did it. I bribed my child with candy to get her to do what I wanted her to do.

I have always looked at parents who bribed their children as parents who didn't have the control that a parent should have and were taking the easy way out. I think that is entirely true. :) At the moment, that description fits me. I took the easy way out. I try to be a good parent. I try to discipline appropriately and teach my daughter to obey. Most of the time, I think I do an okay job. But today, I simply did not have the mental capacity to either convince Mia that her sitting on my lap so I could cut her fingernails was what she actually wanted or some other brilliant plan. So I resorted to bribery. I promised candy if she would sit still on my lap and let me clip her nails without jerking her hands away from me. However, at least I only bribed her with ONE Skittle so my conscience is slightly appeased. :)

How Do People Have More Than One Child!?

As is very obvious, I have been slacking in the blogging world. We need to add Crew to the header and sidebars. Posting on a semi-regular basis would be nice too. But who has time? THAT is the question that I'm posing to all the parents out there who have more than one child. Seriously. I don't know if I'm simply incompetent, disorganized or something else but I seem to be incapable of getting things done. I have several major accomplishments that I get done on a regular basis...my kids are fed, their diapers are changed (note the plural: that's because I haven't made the time to potty train Mia yet) bills are paid on time and doctor visits are attended. Dinner is NEVER prepared, the house is occasionally clean and I, myself, am rarely presentable.

I always envisioned myself with 4 happy kids, a spotless house, personal time to read a book or practice the piano, dinner on the table at 5:00 while I greeted my husband with my hair styled and makeup applied. I gotta say, I'm falling a bit short in my expectations. (Although despite the madness I'm pretty sure we're all still pretty darn happy.)

The point of this post? Not sure. Just maybe to wonder aloud how on earth people have more than one child and maintain a semblance of organization and sanity. I hope it's not just me.

We're Home

Crew came home on Saturday afternoon after 10 days in the hospital. He is doing really well. He is his normal happy self and plays and moves around as if nothing ever happened. We feel very blessed. Thank you, everyone, for your support and prayers.

Crew is in the Hospital (Again)

Just an update, we are still in the hospital with Crew. We've been here for a week now, he had surgery on Thursday. After throwing up nonstop for a week, going to the pediatrician, E.R., GI doctor, etc., we were admitted to the hospital. He had what is called intacaception (although I have NO idea how to spell it). Basically, his upper intestines pulled back into his stomach then got stuck and started swelling, effectively blocking off the exit to his stomach. We will start feeding him again on Thursday to see how he does. If he does well, hopefully we'll get to go home soon after that. Cross your fingers.

Crew was absolutely miserable before surgery but ever since he is his normal, happy self ... despite an incision in his abdomen and his stomach being sliced in half.

Again, we feel very blessed for good doctors and great friends and family for helping us.

Happy Kids and Mia's First Ponytail

Mom and Daughter Time

Mia and I made cookies together for the first time last night. I was really excited about it and it is something I've looked forward to ever since I have ever thought of having a little girl. I have many fond memories of making cookies or spending time in the kitchen in general with my mom and sisters. Let the memories begin!

Crew's G-Button Surgery... a long explanation

So last weekend, Friday the 30th, Crew went in for a laproscopic gastrostemy - a.k.a., G-Button placement. The NG tube that he has had going down through his nose and into his stomach was only ever intended to be a short-term thing. Since he has proven several times during swallowing studies that he cannot swallow safely (it's hard to swallow with your tongue sewn to your lip), the doctors determined that he needed a longer-term solution to his eating difficulties. Hence the G-button placement.

We went in at 9:30 in the morning. We did the usual paperwork and then poor Crew had to have blood drawn (to make sure his levels were okay for surgery/anesthesia). Then we had to wait for a couple of hours. Finally at 1:00 pm they came to get us and Crew got to wear this cute little gown. (Not that cute really but the idea is pretty cute.)



All went well during the surgery. We had a great surgeon and great anesthesiologist who made us comfortable. He was in surgery for about 40 minutes to an hour (about 20 minutes of that was spent on his circumcision ... did I mention that? Lucky kid, what little boy gets to be on morphine after a circumcision. All the male readers are thinking LUCKY? Yeah right.) Once Crew was in recovery they came and got us and I got to hold him while he was in there. He was a bit upset but calmed down pretty soon once he was cuddled a little bit. While Shawn and I were sitting with him, they wheeled in a little 2 year old boy who was inconsolable. He was so upset. The nurses said that all babies and toddlers are really upset when they come out of anesthesia - that it makes them angry. They hurried and got the mom but he was still so upset. It broke my heart. I actually started crying watching this little boy because I was picturing Mia coming out of surgery and being so confused and everything else. I personally think they should have the parents waiting in recovery so the child doesn't have to wait for them to be fetched.

After being in recovery for about an hour we were wheeled up to Crew's room. It was a private room with a full-size pullout couch bed for me. Much different than our NICU experience. Crew fell asleep and proceeded to sleep most of the next 24 hours. He didn't get to eat until the next day so I was glad that he was sleeping. I stayed overnight and Shawn went home to be with Mia.

So this is a picture of the G-Button itself along with a clear tube that attaches to it for feeding. The tube locks in and is designed to be removed when not being used to feed the child. It is currently attached so that the stomach could drain any excess fluids so he wouldn't get sick. (This tube plays an important part in the weekend's drama...read on for a further explation.)


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A brief explanation on the g-button placement: the surgeon puts a camera through Crew's belly button to make sure they are putting the button in the correct place. They fill the stomach full of air. Then they put a needle down into the stomach (watching with the camera to make sure they are in the right spot). Once it's in the right spot they slide a wire down next to the needle then pull the needle out. They then slide a dilator over the wire, and then more and more dilators, constantly getting slightly larger so it stretches the opening. Once it is about the size of maybe half the diameter of a pencil, they slide the button in. It's a tube that leads from the outside of the stomach to the inside. On the inside is a deflated balloon. Once it's slid inside the stomach, they fill the balloon with water and that is what keeps the tube from sliding out of the stomach. On the outside is a little cap over the tube to keep the stomach from leaking/emptying. (The cap is open in the picture above (because the tube is attached) and is hard to see, but it is a clear looking little flap to the left of the button.)
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So Saturday morning we started to feed Crew again (half of his normal amount to make sure his stomach could handle it). We use a feeding pump with a long tube that connects to the short tube that is shown in the picture above. We fed him again at 10:00. After his 10:00 feeding, the nurse was busy so I didn't call her in to separate the tubes and remove the tube from his button. I was holding him so I separated him from the pump but wasn't comfortable messing with the button too much yet so I left the short tube attached to the button (show in above picture). After Crew fell asleep I went to put him in his crib. I checked all of the wires and thought I was clear not to pull anything out/off. I went to lay him down and just as I was setting him down, he started to wail, I felt a little pull and then I heard a POP sound. I looked down thinking "crap, I've probably pulled out his IV." But no. It was a THOUSAND TIMES WORSE. It was his g button. It was lying on the bed. There was a large hole in Crew's stomach pouring milk and gastric juices and a little blood (thank heavens not much blood). I freaked out. Okay, I couldn't really freak out because I needed to get help and there wasn't time for that. So I put a blanket over the hole and applied pressure meanwhile having a split-second debate in my head about which button to push for the nurse... the big red button that I had been shown upon our arrival and instructed that "this was for emergencies only"..."do not push unless it is a real emergency because EVERYONE will come running." This was an emergency right? I had just ripped a hole in my son's stomach! Of course, his heart was still beating and he was still breathing and really wasn't even crying that much. Or should I hit the normal call button? I hit the BIG one, the true emergency one. Then I changed my mind. I flipped it off and hit the normal call button and then rapidly said that I had pulled out his G-button and needed my nurse NOW. Don't worry - all this indecisiveness only took 1/8th of a second or less. The nurse rushed in while I held out the g-button to her. "I pulled it out!" was my anguished explanation. I was very impressed. She stayed very calm (you can always count on nurses for that). The nurse put a dressing over the hole and taped it up then went to go call the surgeon and see what we should do. Fortunately for me, the guilt-ridden mother who had just increased her son's pain, increased the trauma of the site, just ripped out the entire purpose of the previous day's surgery and, not to mention, ripped open a hole that before this had been half the size of a pencil and was now the size of a 45 mm bullet...fortunately for me, Crew fell asleep. I was horrified and sick to my stomach. Not only because I don't do well with blood, gore and wounds, but mostly with the knowledge of what had happened. What had happened? When I leaned over to put Crew in the bed, the little clear tube that would normally have been removed but handn't been got caught between me and the crib. When I set him down I pulled it out. Fortunately, Shawn was already on his way when all this happened and was there not 15 minutes later.

Sleeping peacefully, thank heavens...

Size of G-Button (and the new hole):

After speaking with the surgeon ourselves, we were sent down to Radiology and they inserted a G-Tube (shown below) with the idea that it will keep the hole open but allow it to heal for the next 2 weeks or so and then we'll be able to switch it out for a new G-Button on an outpatient basis. So after this was inserted (without needing anesthesia and Crew did great) we went back to no eating for anther 24 hours. He started eating Sunday night but then was throwing up (not spitting up) after each feeding so they wanted to keep him even longer to make sure he could eat and keep it down. So we went home Tuesday morning.























We are now home and since have had no more drama, thank heavens. But I will say, that we are especially careful not to tug on any tubes!

Could You Sleep Like This?